A handout for queer non-monogamists

Carolyn Moynihan
6 June 2014
Reproduced with Permission

It is getting harder week by week to deny that acceptance of same-sex "marriage" creates a precedent for social and legal recognition of other types of sexual relationships. The Auckland Council, a ratepayer funded local authority in New Zealand, where same-sex marriage was legalised last year, has given a small handout for an event promoting polyamory, Family First reports .

The grant comes from the council's Community Development and Safety Committee. "Safety" is often the rubric under which public recognition is invoked for sexual fringe groups.

"It is incredible that with the dust having only just settled on the same-sex marriage debate, Auckland Council sees fit to fund an event promoting discussion around polyamory and questioning monogamous marriages," says Bob McCoskrie, National Director of Family First NZ.

He adds that these groups should fund themselves, and councils should stay out of the culture wars.

An article advertising the event notes the encouraging effect of the same-sex marriage law:

There has been much queer discussion about maintaining our authentic relationship choices since the recent marriage amendment law. Along with questioning heteronormativity, many LGBTI people question monogamous marriages and relationships.

We can expect some news features afterwards providing "models":

There are very few visible models of healthy, happy polyamorous relationships, and this event hopes to break down some of the isolation and misunderstanding that sometimes surrounds non-monogamous relationships.

Poly relationships do have rules - although they are always open to "negotiation":

Polyamorous relationships may be casual, short or long-term, but seek to come from an ethical, egalitarian and caring basis. They are free and equal agreements between consenting adults, with honesty, clear communication and up-front negotiation. They are founded on respect, win-win solutions and trust in the abundant supply of love potential in the universe. It includes accepting and respecting the boundaries of those in monogamous relationships, and those who prefer monogamous relationships.

Oh well, it's a free country and people must be allowed to live and love as they choose, but society has no obligation to recognise every type of sexual arrangement. It's the safety and rights of children that demand legal protection, and they have the right not to be arbitrarily (that is, by adult whim) deprived of their place in the natural family.