Men may have their own needs that are being neglected during the pregnancy. Invariably they feel resentment and anger, and these feelings find expression. Perhaps a man will subtly remind his wife of her vulnerabilities or withhold affection.(30) In the following case, the boyfriend contributed to the abortion decision by teasing his pregnant girlfriend at her point of vulnerability.
Ricki (20) was pregnant and preoccupied with her body shape. She recalled, "As soon as I found out, I always had this fascination with the mirror and thought one day I was going to wake up and I'd be showing I was like, "Oh no. People are going to know." She stared into her full-length mirror and thought, "Damn. I'm getting fat." Ricki was slender and small boned and figured she couldn't possibly be showing. Her boyfriend however, egged on her "paranoia about showing" and would rub her abdomen and say, "Oh, you are going to start showing in a minute." With new doubts, Ricki returned to the mirror. Ricki had her abortion when she was about three and a half months along. Just about the time when she would start to show.(31)
Sometimes the hostility of the male toward the unborn child will take the form of an obsession which may result in abortion. Simone (39) found herself pregnant, but recently had had a baby with her husband, Vic, some 17 months before. Both were in the middle of career changes and had planned to conceive in the next year once their lives had stabilized. Simone was ambivalent and relied heavily on her husband. Vic told her, "I am willing to be convinced by you and I am willing to go through it all" if she felt it was essential to give birth. Vic cautioned however, that he saw "the future of this child as bleakness and darkness." Simone thought, "I just cannot do it alone," and reluctantly had an abortion. Later, they began to fight about it. Each blamed the other for the decision.(31)
It is also possible that the unborn child may be seen as a rival by the prospective father and thus become a target for unconscious aggressive feelings. This was observed in a study of 60 battered women at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine. The women involved frequently reported changes in the pattern of family violence during pregnancy. There was increasing abuse for some with the pregnant abdomen replacing face and breasts as the target for bartering which resulted in abortions or premature births.35
One reason for this resentment or hostility is that a pregnant woman may become more inward-looking and, as a result may withdraw some of the affection she previously expressed to her husband or partner. In addition, there are some husbands or partners who are so immature, narcissistic and demanding of attention that they tend to regard their offspring, even before birth, as rivals for their wives or girlfriends attention. This attention was demanded of their mothers and after marriage was demanded from their wives. In other words, the male continued to want another mother, not a wife.36
An example of marital dysfunction as a risk factor for abortion is found in pregnancy resulting from an extramartial affair. Elissa, 24, a Caucasian, met Miguel 9 months ago when she began to work at her father s company. Miguel, a Spanish American, drove a company truck. Elissa's father forbade her to date anyone in the company but Elissa and Miguel developed a "passion" so strong they became involved anyway. Miguel lived with a woman and was married to a third woman. Miguel and Elissa met once a week and after two months, Elissa believed she had conceived. She said, "The idea of carrying his baby seemed absolutely wonderful." They planned to go together to a clinic for a pregnancy test, but Miguel didn't show. Elissa was furious. Miguel said he wanted her to have the baby, but Elissa, feeling violated, very lonely and crying at the clinic, had an abortion.(31)
One way that a man may attempt to deny a pregnancy is to attempt to trivialize it. This occurred in the following situation.
When Charles found out his girlfriend Suzy was pregnant he made a joke about it by buying a little bean-bag frog and put a sign on it saying: "It s not my fault, I'm only a frog." Suzy left it up to Charles to make the arrangements for the abortion. Charles said, "At the time of the abortion I felt immensely sad. I felt I'd been shouldering an enormous burden. I'd made all the arrangements and worked everything out. Suzy just wanted to wake up and find it over, which was exactly what she did. Later we decided it was much more of a moral dilemma than we had realized."
Another way a man can deny or trivialize a pregnancy is by failure to acknowledge that there is human life present in the womb. Consider the following example:
Leo said Liane must have an abortion when he found out she was pregnant. Liane said "No, I'm carrying your child." Leo said, "Not a child, a blob of tissue" and said his family would be disgraced unless she had an abortion. Liane reluctantly had an abortion and their relationship was badly damaged as a result. Although they later married, it ultimately ended in a divorce.37
Based upon the few available studies, many men whose wives or girlfriends have abortions believe that a human life is not destroyed when an abortion occurs. One U.S. study of male partners who accompanied women when they obtained abortions found that only one-third believed that life began at conception or within the first 12 weeks after conception when most abortions take place.38 A larger U.S. study found that 39% of the male partners thought the fetus was a person and 26% felt abortion was the killing of a child.39
There are some passive men who do not say anything or do not reveal their own attitudes when their wife or partner becomes pregnant. This may be because they believe that the decision on childbirth or abortion is solely that of the woman. But by relying on the legal status of abortion as the basis for the content of the communication with their partner, they may mistakenly convey an attitude of indifference or even abandonment to the pregnant partner. They will thus increase the likelihood of abortion.
Wanda (23) had her first abortion at age 19, mainly because her boyfriend at the time abandoned her. Later, she became pregnant again by Colin, her live-in boyfriend. She felt terrified. "He's going to walk. I really love this person and I've been so happy with him. I'm pregnant and now he's going to leave." Wanda told Colin she was pregnant and he responded, "Whatever you want to do, I'll be there." Colin kept his word. They talked over the situation at length and Wanda decided to have an abortion. However, Colin never told Wanda that a part of him was thrilled about the pregnancy because he did not want to influence her in any way. After the abortion Wanda developed various psychological problems, and it became clear that Wanda and Colin had different perspectives about the abortion. The relationship languished and may end soon.(31)
***
A 20 year old man in the waiting room of an abortion clinic whose girlfriend got pregnant the second time they had sex said: "It was real important to me for her not to have the abortion, but I didn't let on. I didn't want her to feel she was hurting me. I'm fairly religious, a Catholic. I'm totally against abortion. But it was what she wanted to do. And she s got to have the say, doesn't she?"(33)
| Table 2 | ||
| 1981 Survey of Men in Committed Relationships Who Accompanied Women to U.S. Abortion Facilities | ||
| Men Who Favored Legal Abortion | 83% | |
| Men Who Desired to Outlaw Abortion | 6% | |
| Men Who Recalled Urging Abortion | 45% | |
| Men Who Recommended Childbirth (with financial and emotional support) | 17% | |
| Men Who Urged Adoption | 10% | |
| Source: Men and Abortion, Lessons. Losses and Love Arthur Shostak, Gary McLouth (1984) | ||
A large study interviewed 1000 males who accompanied their partners to various U.S. abortion facilities in 1981. In this study, 45% of the men interviewed recalled urging abortion, while only 10% recalled urging adoption, and 17% had recommended childbirth which the men said they would support financially and emotionally. Thus, the urging of abortion was the predominant reaction of the males to their partners pregnancy. But perhaps more significantly, 83% of the men favored legal abortion, while only 9% favored a law to outlaw abortion.(39) In another U.S. study of 60 males who accompanied their partners to a Connecticut abortion facility in the early 1980s only 12% were opposed to abortion.(38) The attitude of the male conforming to the legality of abortion may also convey to the female a perceived attitude of indifference or abandonment by the male. This can occur because the woman might fear that her partner will reject both her and the baby, though the degree to which her own fears are real or fantasy may depend on her own ability to accept the pregnancy. In other words, she is likely to project some of her own feelings of ambivalence onto her male partner.(30)
Abortion serves well the erotically compulsive male or one with such tendencies, who strives to maintain his self-esteem, and to gratify narcissistic needs through sexual achievements. Typically, this Don Juan male is minimally involved in the personality of his partner, since his capacity to love is sharply limited. His sexual activity is invested in countering feelings of inferiority by proving erotic successes. After such a conquest, he loses interest in the chosen woman and reacts with hostility towards her after the successful conquest. Abortion is a handy passport for such adventure.40 Consider the following two examples of erotic, anti-child males who were involved in multiple abortions.
Three years ago, Ralph, now 26, had a bad year during which he was responsible for three unwanted pregnancies with three different women. None of the women were important to him, and neither were any of the abortions. Rather than drawing him closer to any of the women, the abortions made him dislike them as they became emotional and dependent upon him. Ralph likes "super women" and dislikes children, and at this point in his life, has no intention of marrying and settling down. He thinks he is lucky to have been involved in only three abortions, given his freewheeling life style in New York where he is in public relations.(33)
***
At age 51, Fritz is a successful insurance agent. He estimates he has been responsible for at least nine abortions. Each of his two wives had three abortions and various other casual encounters led to other abortions. He was not upset by any of them, nor did he feel much emotional responsibility, as he believes that birth control is in the woman's province. He provided some insight into his life. "My father was a frightfully irresponsible ne'er do well who saw me around five times in my life. He deserted my mother when I was three, and the only memory I have of him is being terrified of his booming voice. I rarely saw my mother either and can only remember her kissing me good night. I lived with my nanny while my mother was being supported by her various boyfriends. I was sent away to boarding school at age six and always had a terrible feeling of rejection. My mother subsequently remarried and became a drunk. What terrified me about having children was that it entailed for me a commitment not to reject them. And I still craved attention for myself... lf I did knock up another girl, I'd certainly go through with another abortion. It doesn't bother me at all. It's much easier to have an abortion than to have a child."(33)
Although the outward response of the male may strongly influence the decision for abortion, many males whose wifes or girlfriends have abortions have considerable ambivalence toward abortion, and some are strongly opposed. A 1989 Los Angeles Times nationwide poll found that about two-thirds of U.S. males expressed guilt over their involvement in abortion.41 This would offer some hope as the expression of guilt would indicate that many males believed they had not lived up to their ideals.
The various types of males involved in pregnancies frequently resulting in abortion include those with relational conflicts often involving third parties; male hostility or resentment of the unborn child, or seeing the child as a threat; confusion about or being overwhelmed by the pregnancy; attempting to deny or trivialize the pregnancy, timidity or passivity or attempting to remain "neutral;" or erotic, immature, anti-child attitudes.
What will increase the possibilities for childbirth? The available evidence indicates that the more the male is committed to the female, especially in marriage, the less likely that an abortion will take place if pregnancy occurs. On the other hand, if the female perceives that she is all alone without an adequate sense of security and well-being because the male is not providing both economic and emotional support for child birth, she is at increased risk for abortion.
1 Fathers and Fetuses, George W. Harris, Ethics 96:594, 1986 [Back]
2 Planned Parenthood v. Casey, 505 U.S. 833, 1992 [Back]
3 Life Events and Acceptance of Pregnancy, Malcomb M Helper et al, Journal of Psychosomatic Research 12:183, 1968 [Back]
4 The Relationship of Social Support and Social, Networks to Anxiety During Pregnancy, Joan Jurich, Sociology, Individual and Family Studies, Dissertation Abstracts Int'l 48(1), July 1987 [Back]
5 Psychiatric Morbidity in a Pregnant Population in Nigeria, OA Abiodun et al, General Hospital Psychiatry 15:125,1993 [Back]
6 Psychological and social correlates of the onset of affective disorders among pregnant women, T Kitamura et al, Psychological Medicine 23:967,1993 [Back]
7 A Prospective Study of Emotional Disorders in Childbearing Women, R Kumar and KM Robson, Brit. J Psychiatry 144:35, 1984 [Back]
8 A Study of Abortion in Primitive Societies. George Devereux(1955) p.l35-136 [Back]
9 The Effects of Abortion on Marriage and Other Committed Relationships, Teri Reisser, Association for Interdisciplinary Research in Values and Social Change 6(4):1-8, 1994 [Back]
10 Why Do Women Have Abortions?, Aida Torres and JD Forrest, Family Planning Perspectives 20(4): 169, July/August 1988 [Back]
11 Abortion Patients in 1994-1995: Characteristics and Contraceptive Use, SK Henshaw and K Kost, Family Planning Perspectives 28: 140,1996 [Back]
12 A Hospital Study of Illegal Abortion in Bolivia, PE Bailey et al, PAHO Bulletin 22(1):27, 1988 [Back]
13 Induced Abortion in Kenya: Its Determinants and Associated Factors, VM Lema et al, East African Medical Journal 73(3):164, March,1996 [Back]
14 In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development, Carol Gilligan (1982) (The woman focuses on herself because she feels that she is all alone.) p.74; Experiencing Abortion, Eve Kushna (1997) (In a study of 115 postabortion women almost all of them mentioned how isolated they felt whan they had abortions) p.xx [Back]
15 Pregnancy Fantasies, Howard W Fisher and IC Bernstein, Minnesota Medicine 57:129, Feb 1974 [Back]
16 Abortion Decision Making: Some Findings from Columbia, Carole Browner, Studies in Family Planning 10(3):96, March,1979 [Back]
17 Induced Abortion in Chile, with references to Latin America and Caribbean countries, Monica Weisner, paper presented at the annual meeting of the Population Association of America, Toronto, Canada, May 3-5, 1990 as cited in Reasons Why Women Have Abortions: Evidence from 27 Countries, A Bankole, Int'l Family Planning Perspectives 24(3): 117, 1998 [Back]
18 Illegal Abortion in Mexico: Client Perceptions, Susan Pick de Weiss and HP David, Am J Public Health 80(6):715,1990; Abortion in the Americas, HP David and S Pick de Weiss in Reproductive Health in the Americas, Eds AR Omran et al, Pan American Health Organization PAHO/WHO,1992, p323-354 [Back]
19 Misoprostol: The experience of women in Fortaleza, Brazil, HL Coelho et al, Contraception 49:101,1994; Misoprostol and illegal abortion in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, SH Costa and MP Vessey, The Lancet 341:1261,1993 [Back]
20 Delivery or Abortion in Inner-City Adolescents, Susan H Fischman American Journal Orthopsychiatry 47(1):127, January 1977 [Back]
21 Unsafe Abortions: Methods Used and Characteristics of Patients Attending Hospitals in Nairobi, Lima, and Manila, A Ankomah, Health Care for Women International 18:43, 1997 [Back]
22 Reasons Why Women Have Induced Abonions: Evidence from 27 Countries, A Bankole et al, Int'l Family Planning Perspectives 24(3):117, Sept, 1998 [Back]
23 Time of Decision to Undergo a Legal Abortion, Kristima Holmgren, Gynecol Obstet Invest 26:289, 1988 [Back]
24 Evaluation of stated motives for legal abortion, M Tornbom et al, J. Psychosom Obstet Gynecol 15:27, 1994 [Back]
25 The male penner involved m legal abortion, A Kero et al, Human Reproduction 14(10):2669, 1999 [Back]
26 Abortion Issues in Psychotherapy, Maria J Rivera in The New Civil War: The Psychology. Culture. and Politics of Abortion, Ed. Linda J. Beckman and S Marie Harvey, Washington DC: American Psychological Association, 1998 p. 337; Conception, pregnancy, decision-making, and post abortion response among women who have undergone single, repeat and multiple voluntary first trimester abortions, Maria J. Rivera, Dissenation Abstracts Int'l 56(10): 5780-B, April 1996 [Back]
27 A Psychiatric Study of 55 Expectant Fathers, James Cunis, United States Armed Forces Journal Vol VI (7): 937, July, 1955 [Back]
28 Husbands of Abortion Applicants: A Comparison Wlth Husbands of Women Who Complete their Pregnancies, F Lieh-Mak, Social Psychiatry 14:59,1979 [Back]
29 The Spectrum of Fetal Abuse in Pregnant Women, John T Condon, Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease 174(9): 509, 1986 [Back]
30 Expectant Fathers, Sam Binman and Sue Rosenberg Zalk, (1978,1980) [Back]
31 Experiencing Abortion, Eve Kushmer (1997) [Back]
32 Mixed Feelings. The Experience of Abortion, Angela Neustatter and Gina Newsom (1986) [Back]
33 The Ambivalence of Abortion, Linda Bird Francke (1978) [Back]
34 Aborted Women. Silent No More, David C Reardon (1987) [Back]
35 Sixty Battered Women, Elaine Hilberman et al, Victimology 2:460,1977-78 [Back]
36 The Couvade Syndrome, WH Trethowan, in Modern Perspectives in Psycho-Obsetrics Ed. JG Howells, (1972) pp.84-85 [Back]
37 Catholic Women and Abortion, Ed. Pat King (1994) p.34-35 [Back]
38 A Descriptive Study of the Attitudes of Males Involved in Abortion, David A Comelio, Dissertation Abstracts Int'l 44(5): 1592-B, Nov. 1983 [Back]
39 Men and Abortion. Lessons, Losses and Love, Anhur B Shostak and Gary McLouth (1984) [Back]
40 Abortion in Relationship Context, Vincent M Rue, International Review of Natural Family Planning, Summer,1985. pp. 95-121 [Back]
41 Many in Survey Who Had Abortion Cite Guilt Feelings, George Skelton, Los Angeles Times, March 19, 1989, p.28 [Back]
42 Husbands' Involvement in Abortion in Vietnam, A Johansson et al, Studies in Family Planning 29(4):400, 1998
43 Pattnership and Pregnancy Conflict, H. Roeder et al, Psychother Psychosom Med Psychol 44(5): 153, 1994 (Abstract)
1, 2,