Human Life Education


Chapter Eleven: Whether to Teach or Not to Teach NFP to the Young

Fr. Anthony Zimmerman, Steve Koob & Bev Malona

That parents educate their children by modeling a chaste life for them is unquestionably a great gift to them, next in line, perhaps, to teaching them the faith and prayer. Parents civilize society when they do their duty of educating the next generation.

Parents among the Gabun Pygmies in Africa were quite explicit in their method of teaching chastity, as Fr. Martin Gusinde learned when he visited them. They were hunter-gatherers, as were all of our ancestors until about 10,000 years ago. Fr. Gusinde learned that a boy had to report his first nocturnal emission to his father, who then took him to river for a bath. On that occasion the father taught the son never to masturbate. Mothers took their daughters to a separate location at menarche to instruct them about moral behavior.

Hunter-gatherers in Tierra del Fuego, at the tip of South America, segregated adolescents from the community for an intensive period of moral education during about four months. Fr. Gusinde remarked that they were perhaps better educated in moral life there than children are educated today even in Catholic schools. There also fathers taught their sons never to masturbate. (See more in my article in New Oxford Review, December 1999.)

I learned recently in Japan that some of the mothers who use the smart electronic thermometer called "Sophia" to practice natural family planning, buy a second one for a daughter at menarche. She then teaches about the mucus and temperature signs. Mothers claim that just having the device makes it easier to speak about cycles and sexual behavior. Be that as it may, parents today have a most serious obligation to model chastity for their children, and to see to it that they also get formation in a proper manner. The question then arises: shall parents teach their children the art of natural family planning?

A woman from Kenya told me that her mother taught her girls about the mucus method when they got married. The Pope teaches today that "all married people and also young adults before marriage" ought to have access to knowledge about the body's rhythms of fertility, and be educated in self control (Familiaris Consortio No. 33). He didn't say that parents themselves have to do this, and wrote instead that instructions might be given by married couples, doctors and experts.

Should "knowledge about the bodily aspect and the body's rhythms of fertility" it be provided in classes at schools? Not without strict parental supervision, I believe. However, because of today's excessive preoccupation with sexual matters, I believe that some method should be invented by parents to facilitate education in chastity in schools. In a few schools in Japan, Sophia devices are used in the class room to teach girls how to recognize the fertile days of the cycle. I believe that if every young lady would know her cycle well before marriage, we would then, hopefully, put pill companies out of business.

Two very capable and experienced educators wrote the exchange which follows on e-mail to the NFPList which I found to be very instructive. It is presented here with their permission.


Give Them Truth and Knowledge and They will Choose Well. Trust God

Steve Koob, One More Soul, as posted on NFPList.

Is it too late to weigh in on this interesting question?

1. Biology, fertility awareness/appreciation, how the body works, seem like intrinsically good information that should not be withheld from anyone mature enough to understand it. This knowledge should be presented to everyone in a manner consistent with their ability to comprehend it.

2. By knowing how the body works, the student can gain an appreciation for the wisdom of the Great Designer and respect for His design and plan, as well as for ones own body and the bodies of each member of the human race.

3. Thus a "theology of the body" should be taught along with the "biology of the body." What is the right way to treat one's body and the bodies of others? Knowledge should foster respect so that the student does not want to harm his own body or that of another. I love my body because it is good. I know how my lungs work and that various carcinogens place my lungs at risk. My lungs are part of the whole, and damage to them has consequences for the whole.

4. My reproductive system is good and how I treat it or use it affects the whole. The whole includes my soul and so the interplay between "soul health" and reproductive system use or misuse is important to the student.

5. The reproductive system is special because of the awesome power God has given humankind via that special system~the power to co-create new human life with Him. God made us an essential partner. The magnitude of that gift and trust is truly beyond imagination.

6. Should the "rules" be taught? I don't know. If the biology has been taught well, the student can figure out the "rules." If the theology has been taught well, the student has the information to use in choosing good or evil and is culpable for his actions. It's part of maturation.

7. In my opinion, we should not deny our brothers and sisters the

dignity that God gave them~the ability, the right, and the desire to learn, know, think, and choose. Give them truth and knowledge and they will choose well. Trust God.

May God bless you.

Steve Koob


Response to Steve Koob

By Bev Malona, RN, NFP

Teaching in this area is a mine field if certain philosophical underpinnings and correct approaches are missing. Traditional "sex" education has become an information only, mechanistic and "parent free" endeavor. Furthermore, every perverse and unhealthy sexual practice has been added to the list. Sex, not fertility, is (deliberately) taught by separating it from marriage and procreation. It is based in the Kinsey "sexual person" development theory. The biology is rhythm based. This is not news to many of you.

I was a health teacher for many years pre and post my NFP experience. A few tips: We ought not to confuse the purpose of what we are doing. Fertility Appreciation Ed is NOT SEX ED, nor is it NFP Instruction necessarily.

STEVE STATED [see his statement 1. Above]:

ANS. Biology, fertility awareness/appreciation etc: Teaching must go beyond biology in this area. You did state this later. Needs great emphasis!

1.The "procreative system" (humans procreate; animals reproduce) is unlike any other because of its potential for life and unity. It is also COMMUNAL. Do not compare it to other systems that are automatic and require no thought, emotion, will and spirit (for example the respiratory etc.) Unlike Kinsey, we should be basing our teachings on the whole person theory of sexual development. All faculties of the human person come into play not just the "biological" so unlike other systems fertility is not purely hard science info to be put forth.

2. The conceptual framework should be: Directive, Formative, Abstinence Only, Family Centered, Marriage and Pro-life based formation not "information" underlies fertility education for the young. Fertility ought always be referred to within the context of marriage and potential for life.

The Directive approach is effective. The teacher is the authority and concludes that the proper context for this knowledge is within marriage and that chastity is part of healthy sexual development.

No "open ended" (non directive approach) discussion should be employed. This leaves doubt in the minds of the young who come away with opinions of classmates rather than the standard.

Parents ought to be included always. Parents are with their kids more than a teacher. In order to reinforce the good lessons in this area parents need to hear the same things as their kids at the same time. Mother/daughter and father/son events are effective.Our role is to open communication between parents and kids. Never isolate kids from parents in this vital "family" affair. Having parents there also provides them with correct information/formation as well. It is my opinion that all fertility appreciation/awareness ed is a joint venture. I do not approve of teaching this to kids alone even with parent permission.

Chart review, if this is done, ought to include the mom in the chair next to her daughter.

It is not the role of an NFP person to have confidential info on a kid. If it turns out that the daughter is sexually active the parent should be informed without hesitation (be there). Keeping this (info) between a teen and a teacher is no different than Planned Parenthood clinic policy. This separation reeks of a sixties and seventies mentality which fosters a kid's "need" to be separated from parents when it comes to sexual issues. "Kids need space" [is their slogan. Well], they have had space and the [negative] results are clear.

VOCABULARY!!!!!

Never use the word partner or mate! Partner implies unmarried sex, same gender sex and places sex outside of the context of marriage and procreation. Always use husband/wife, spouses, etc.

Use procreative over reproductive and explain why to kids... the reason being that this use of terms (procreative) establishes HUMAN IDENTITY and DIGNITY also sets this system apart from other systems!

STEVE STATED:

2. By knowing how the body works

CHANGE TO:

By knowing the interplay of body, mind, heart, will and soul (the identity of man-different from all other creatures)

STEVE STATED [see 3. above]

ANS:

Important that the word "body" encompass the notion of body/soul integration.

STEVE STATED:

"I know how my lungs work and that various carcinogens place my lungs at risk. My lungs are part of the whole, and damage to them has consequences for the whole."

DON'T GO THERE:

WHY? An otherwise good analogy; however we live in a time where the "reproductive" system is deliberately compared to other systems in order to diminish it and show kids that as they need air to breath (normal) so is sex a "need" and that to experiment is as "normal" as breathing.

SEX IS A DESIRE NOT A NEED. and desire goes beyond physical activity. Desire implies a real "need" to love and be loved, affirmation acceptance etc. PHYSICAL SEX ALONE DOES NOT FULFILL THIS.

The Great Designer and the idea of a Plan must be included some how in the didactic. This can be done in the secular arena through the understanding of the whole person theory of sexual development (theology of the body).

STEVE STATED:

4. My reproductive(PROCREATIVE) system is good ...

ADD:

and is the only system that is COMMUNAL. Eventually in marriage, this system is there to complement and be joined to another and NEW LIFE) and how I treat it or use it affects the whole of me and ANOTHER. The whole includes my soul (MIND, HEART, WILL,) and so the interplay between "soul health" and reproductive system use or misuse is important to the student.

STEVE STATED:

5. The reproductive system is special because of the awesome power God has given humankind via that special system - the power to co-create new human life with Him. God made us an essential partner. The magnitude of that gift and trust is truly beyond imagination.

ANS. GREAT

STEVE ASKED:

6. Should the "rules" be taught? I don't know.

ANS.

Differentiate your purpose: Fertility Appreciation presentations are NOT the same as NFP instruction presentations and tell your audience that!

To the young point out that there are times of fertility and infertility and when you are ready for marriage those times will be well defined further for you by a professional NFP teacher. Furthermore, when people try to use this info on fertility without this training it does NOT work well as a method of family planning. Launch a discussion on a call to chastity and abstinence for the unmarried and explain marital chastity as well. Give positive rationale for total abstinence outside of marriage.

STEVE WROTE:

If the biology has been taught well, the student can figure out the "rules."

ANS.

NO . PEOPLE NEED INSTRUCTION ON EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES SUCH AS DOUBLE PEAK or CONTINUOUS DISCHARGE ETC.

Emphasize to kids and (parents) that fertility appreciation info is not the same as teaching NFP for family planning

STEVE WROTE:

If the theology has been taught well, the student has the information to use in choosing good or evil and is culpable for his actions. It's part of maturation.

ANS.

True for adults and kids. Yet adults need to take some responsibility for kids. WHAT DO I MEAN BY THIS?

PARENTS MUST TAKE SUPERVISION MORE SERIOUSLY.

Many kids become SEXUALLY INVOLVED from 3-5 p.m. or in the AM if left home when parents leave for work. Also, if parents do not check on the kids' where-abouts and if there is supervision where they are, this too is an opportunity.

Planned Parenthood (PP) tells parents it is impossible to stop this and "be everywhere." I say parents do not check enough AND IT IS POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE SUPERVISION ALMOST EVERYWHERE.

NOTE WELL: Stats on so-called teen pregnancy reveal that in 75% or more of "teen" pregnancy is in fact sex between a minor girl and adult male (19 and over). The younger the girl the older the male. I have the data. THIS IS A MATTER FOR PARENTAL SUPERVISION!!!!

STEVE WROTE:

7. In my opinion, we should not deny our brothers and sisters the dignity that God gave them~the ability, the right, and the desire to learn, know, think, and choose. Give them truth and knowledge and they will choose well. Trust God.

ANS:

HOW the info/ formation is given , what conceptual framework is used and what philosophical underpinnings are employed and most importantly the essential (TOTAL) inclusion of parents is crucial-----ALL this will provide the best we can do for kids.

ONE LAST POINT:

Kids need to know that no decision in life is made in a vacuum and that family, friends and the world are affected by even what they think is a private decision! PRIVACY does not exist in a "COMMUNAL ACT". There is no such thing as a decision that does not affect everyone. FAMILY! FAMILY! FAMILY! No kid is an island and most are not orphans.

PP advocates the "autonomy" of the decision maker. We should not buy into this.

May God bless you. Bev


Next Page: Chapter 12: Doctor Ogino' discovery
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18