Who is this God who intrudes upon my peace? Why won't he just go away? He's an inconvenient presence in my life. A holy nag, that's what he is.
Heck, I'm just an old dude trying to live out my hour upon the stage. Why does this God keep asking more of me?I thought my late wife was a nag when she hauled out her honey-do list. God's list makes hers look tiny.
"Remember now, don't pass by that homeless guy on the corner without at least acknowledging him."
"Aw! That little kid is crying. See what's wrong OK?
"At least acknowledge that poor person with his hand out"
"It won't kill you to volunteer one day a week at the foodbank"
"You did contribute to PBS this year, right?"
"Don't just walk away from that guy who smells and talks to himself."
Dammit! Leave me alone, Lord. I'm just an ordinary old dude. Besides I gave at the office. All I want is a cold beer, maybe some chips and some time to watch the Giants on TV. I'm not doing anybody any harm. Cut me some slack OK?
Stop asking me to be more, to immerse myself in the lives of people who don't have a place to live or woman who aren't getting a fair shake or snotty-nosed kids who yearn for a caring adult in their lives. C'mon Lord. Give me a break.
In reply, that Divine Nag says to me (with a tinge of totally inappropriate sarcasm in his voice) Sorry man, I was under the impression that you wanted to continue living not just surviving. I thought you are a giver not just a taker.
"Wait God. That's unfair. I go to church (most of the time) and put my dollar in the collection basket and I don't deal drugs and bad stuff like that."
But God just doesn't give up. "Yea, you're practically a saint aren't you? I must have had you all wrong.
Then without missing a beat, he takes out that list again. See that guy sprawled out on the sidewalk ? Check him out and see if he is OK? And, by the way, I know this kid who needs some help with English, would you mind spending a little time with him? And when you're done with that, how long has it been since you visited your grandkids? Also could you help that old guy with his walker and when you're done with that…..………..and on, and on…...
I swear that God never listened to a word I said. Such a nag.