Scattered Reflections Of a Monkey Mind

Hank Mattimore
Reproduced with Permission

My mind is all over the place. Can you relate? I'm like a kite on a windy autumn day, flying this way and that way. I came to the chapel to meditate, to reflect on God's presence in my life and in the world but OMG, He (She) is not here. The Spirit is hidden underneath all my monkey mind distractions. What God? He sure ain't here in the chapel with me.

Is he anywhere? Atheists claim that God did not create us; rather we have created God. Nah! I don't buy that but they are partly right. The God we imagine as a benign old grandfather in the sky is definitely a figment of our imagination. I'll never find that God in the chapel or anywhere else.

So I ask myself, where will I find the real God? Could be I'm looking in the wrong place. Maybe it makes more sense to search for him in people not in the sanctuary. God is in the moments of our lives. It's like we have to go out of ourselves to discover his presence in the universe, in people, in nature.

If we don't find his presence in a child's innocence or in the heroism of a soldier dying for his country or in the compassion of adult children taking care of aged parents, where can we find him?

God is found in quiet time (if I can keep awake and discipline my monkey mind) but he is discovered more obviously in relationships. Ay! There's the rub. Finding the image of God in one another is more challenging, don't you agree?

In the musical Oliver, the little waif of a boy sang "Where oh where, oh where is love" Abandoned by his parents, physically abused at the orphanage, Oliver yearned to find love (God) in his life and it wasn't easy. The people he had met in his short life didn't exactly exude the milk of human kindness.

Like Oliver, the wounded vet or the spouse taking care of a spouse with Alzheimer's disease, can be pardoned if they ask, "Where oh where oh where is this God of love." And you know what mates? Sometimes, we just don't know. We yearn to see God and at times he has the unnerving habit of playing peek-a-boo with us. Is it okay to get PO'd with the Almighty? But where else can we go?

So, I will continue to search for God in the people around me, the washed and the unwashed, the saints and the sinners because I have experienced way too much love, way too much grace in my own life to doubt his presence.

And, I'll continue to search for God in the quiet of the chapel because I know, (if only I can stop nodding off); I will find him there, too.

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