In the last couple of months, Cana Vox has produced some great videos on helping our kids to navigate gender ideology. Some weeks ago, I posted an article about speaking to kids aged 5 to 10 on these topics, and now have gone on to watch the video for 11 to 13-year olds.
In this video, Dr Ana Samuel once again started with four pedagogical principles that are of utmost importance when having these discussions: staying grounded in natural law; being able to speak intimately with your child; speaking age-appropriately; and practicing moral balance in your conversations (for more detail on these, see here ).
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Helping Our Children Navigate Gender Ideology: The Middle School Years from CanaVox on Vimeo .
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Dr Ana went on to speak on a couple of scenarios that might come up for children in this age bracket. The first was about having a child that perhaps struggles with their peers of the same sex. She made the point that it is important for kids to bond with, and have friendships with, kids of the same sex – because kids who have a hard time connecting with same-sex peers may question their gender identity or wonder if they're adequate in their own gender. She made it clear that this didn't by any means immediately mean they had gender identity issues – but that it is worth keeping an eye on how our kids bond with their same-sex friends (without making it a problem in their minds). And on the flip side, if we have a very popular child, Dr Ana spoke about teaching them their responsibility to include the others, especially the more vulnerable in their midst.
In the second scenario, Dr Ana paints a picture where a child might comment about a known female couple with a child, in this case some neighbours, and how lovely they are. And while there is no doubt as to how nice the couple are, Dr Ana suggests pointing out the truth of the complications that have had to take place for this family to exist in the first place.
If a same-sex couple have a child, that child exists because of adoption, artificial insemination of one of the women, or IVF. In each scenario, there is great sadness – either because the child has already lost both parents and now will never know the love of a male parent; or because a biological parent has been excluded from the equation by design. There is no doubt that the current parents want the best for the child involved, but the truth is that when you look beyond the happy family in front of you, the means that were used to get there are both complex and harmful. Of course, Dr Ana also speaks on the importance of also teaching our kids to extend forgiveness and mercy rather than judgement or hate; and explaining that we live in a very confused society where most people would have no issues with any of this. We have to do all we can to build a bridge and soften each other's hearts.